Take a Break
| We've got your number | |
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| New World Order | |
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| Dave Cleggeron - "Working harder for EU" | Feel the pain! |
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Faking It with James Purnell |
Happiness is..... |
Discovery in woods explains why people no longer vote |
Politically Correct Lord’s Prayer - Hat Tip Steve Allison |
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Our Father (or Mother, Step Father, Step Mother, Carer or Guardian) who art in the non-denominational resting place, Inclusive be thy name. Thy persondom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in the non-denominational resting place. Give us this day our daily burger and coke. And forgive us our trespasses, As we are forced to forgive those who trespass against us by illegally camping on land and refusing to move. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from those who are not politically correct. For thine is the persondom, the power of thought control and the glory of human rights, For ever and ever. Awomen |
Major Scientific Discovery |
John Prescott shock announcement! |
| A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each organisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. |
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How long is red tape? |
The Gory party |
 Pythagoras
theorem has 24 words, the Lords Prayer has 66 words, the Archimedes
principle 67 words, the ten commandments 179 words, the Gettysburg
address 286 words and the new European Union rules on the sale of
cabbages? 26,253 words! |
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British Industry |
No worries! |
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Lambeth Walk banned |
A new recipe for the Tories |
| The Chair of Lambeth Council has declared the borough of Lambeth a ‘walk free zone’ after receiving complaints from a Mr. P. Head who was upset by the sight of pedestrians moving in a way which could prove offensive to those in the couch community. Mr. Potato said, “I needed counselling and a replacement remote after spilling my TV dinner when I saw this happening outside my own front window. The Chair said “I am not sitting down on this case; community relations advising perambulatory stakeholders, (craps), will be on patrol and offenders will be taken to the town hall for the recital of our new citizenship anthem, “Doing the Lambeth perambulation” |
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Binge Thinking - The drink tank |
Media Offspring - Who's the Daddy? |
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Charles
Dave |
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The Notting Hillbillies |
Running on empty |
| Come and listen to a story about a man named Dave A posh toff hailed from Eton, who had a minor crave, Then one day was speakin'; at an event, And found himself in a great big meedja tent. Circus that is, bright lights, Celebritee. The first thing you know ol' Dave's a Tory Blair, TV-folk said "Dave move away from there" Dave said "Hills is the place I ought to be Get me into there cause I'm a Celebritee" Hills, that is. Notting Hills, Sushi bars. Well now its time to say goodbye to Dave and all his kin. And they would like to thank you Torys fer kindly votin' in. You're not invited back again to this localitee Cause we all think that y'old and nastee Sillybillys that is. Set in aspic, Leave your shoes on. Don't come back now, y'hear?. |
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Our Mojo is missing - Who you gonna call? |
Car-gone footprint - Life, but not as we know it |
No comment needed |
Global....warning |
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