Need Rehab? - You Need the UKIP Detox!

Is something not 'right'? - You 'Labour' away and nothing changes? It's the same old Tory day after day?
You look in the Mirror - The Blue Rinse Is Fading.
What’s to be done? - We have the Answers!
Join our E.U.* ™, (*Enhanced Understanding), one step program designed for a quick rapid Detox, allowing you to get on with your life! No longer will you be encumbered by those taxing doubts, those nasty sweats, those memories that come back to haunt you!
And best of all it’s Free! Yes! Pay no money now! A one time special introductory offer. Join Our rehab Spa and see what they* are all talking about!
(Sponsored by U.K.I.P.*™ (*Understanding Kind Intelligent People.)

*The change is remarkable! - David Cameron
*I'm shrinking - A Big Beast
*Erm..Erm...Ermm.... - John Major
*I'm lost for words! - David Davis
*No more Mrs Nasty - Theresa May
*It's nice to see all this support for I.D.S - Ian Duncan Smith
*Gadflies are groovy - Michael Howard
*My shoes are blue suede! - Kenneth Clarke
*My hair is having a good day - Michael Heseltine
*It's not so taxing now - Oliver Letwin
*I used to feel so ‘Alien’ - John Redwood
*I've left my Bed and walked - John Butterfill
*I was blue all the time - Now I'm Purple! - Boris Johnson
*It ain't alf Grand! - A ‘Grandee’

*No these people didn't really say this just in case you were wondering.....

Blackpool - Major outbreak of TB Confirmed!

It has been confirmed that People visiting Blackpool recently have been struck down with a virulent strain of TB. Symptoms include fawning, a liking for self-harm and an apparent desire to ape leaders whose currency has become devalued. There are three variants of the Strain found in the wild. These are, Tony Bliar, the most contagious, Tory Boy, once thought extinct but making a comeback, and a new maverick strain, Tory Blair, which has proved hard to isolate being identical to the first strain.